Conversations- Dad's have it rough

Here are two conversations Rob and I have had in the last seven days:

Scene- Around 10pm in the evening, after Baby Michael's dinner
Stephanie: Rob, can you please change the baby and put him to bed so I can pump and get ready for bed?
Rob: Ugh! I'm already in bed! I'm tired and trying to sleep.

I didn't respond, but only because I couldn't think of a response due to the blind rage I felt. Here is what I wish I had said to my darling husband, "Oh, I'm sorry, you're tired? That must be awful for you! I myself am also tired seeing as I haven't slept longer than 2.5 hours at once in over a month. My arms, back, and boobs could use a rest too! But you stay in bed and get some sleep, I'll stay up getting the baby changed and settled for bed, and once I'm done getting myself ready for bed, it'll be time to feed the baby again!"

Here is another exchange between me and Rob from just yesterday:

Scene- Driving home after baby and mommy pick Rob up from school.
Rob- You smell really good.
Stephanie- Really? The baby threw up on me and I didn't bother changing my shirt before we picked you up.
Rob- You smell like fried food, what did you make?
Stephanie- I made hash browns for breakfast; do I smell like potatoes and onions?
Rob- What?! Why didn't you get up and make me hash browns before I left?!

Again, I had no response. Although, when you think about it, it was ridiculous that I didn't get up at 6:30 to make breakfast for Rob when I had woken up at 5am to feed the baby. Instead of going back to bed at 6am, I should have just gotten my bum in the kitchen and whipped up a big breakfast for Rob. I am so inconsiderate!

Being a dad must be really tough, I don't think I could handle all the work and pressure! Good thing I'm the mom and I'm lucky enough to do nothing all day at home with the baby!  I really should have the house spotless every day when Rob gets home and serve him a seven course meal each night. I am so lazy. (Stupid June Cleaver ruining it for every other mom on the planet! I hope you burn in hell!... the character, not the lovely lady who played her.)

At least I get to stay home all day with a baby as cute as this!